Never A Good Idea
by BasementOfTheMansion
Summary: Five office romances Kelly never had.
1. Dwight

_Here's something to tide all of us over until I get my act together and continue with my WIPs... Five almost plausible Kelly pairings. _

_Spoilers for "Christmas Party" and a deleted scence from "Hot Girl."_

* * *

1. Dwight

Kelly was pretty sure Dwight was totally into her. Which was equal parts flattering and creepy. But she'd gotten a purse out of the deal. Actually, it was an ugly purse, but a girl could never have too many purses.

On about her fourth drink, she decided that it was way too depressing to spend the holidays alone and that Dwight looked considerably better when she was buzzed (damn, he was tall! Why didn't she ever notice that before?) and that it's be nice to have someone who was totally into her and bought her purses. And then she was walking into the kitchen and kissing him.

When she'd sobered up, she was overwhelmingly relieved it hadn't gone anywhere, but secretly there was just a little disappointment, because how pathetic was it when your most backup guy didn't even want you?


	2. Jim

2. Jim

Kelly, like almost every woman who'd met him, had a crush on Jim. How could you not? He was charming and adorable and funny, and not insensitive like every other man on the face of the planet. You could talk to him about girly stuff and he wouldn't act like you were castrating him right then and there.

It was kind of too good to be true. He was probably gay. Which would be awesome, but just a little disappointing, like when Lance came out.

Was that why he spent so much time with Pam? Was he going to make her over one day? Because that was long overdue.

Oh, well... At least he was something pretty to look at.


	3. Michael

_Spoilers for "Customer Survey."_

* * *

3. Michael

Kelly had never really liked her boss, but at that moment he was her savior and she was so, so relieved to be talking about guacamole dip and pretending to cry instead of getting fired.

They started giggling, and for about half a minute she thought that it was actually kind of fun to be on his side for once and maybe he was a little cute with his eyes sparkling like that.

By that afternoon, halfway through redoing the reports, she was back to resentment. And anyway... Ugh, never.


	4. Andy

4. Andy

Kelly was in a committed relationship when the Stamford people came, so she didn't really notice them. Besides, one of them was super gross and both the girls seemed like bitches and maybe the black guy was kind of hot but Meredith was into him and ew, and the dorky guy in the striped tie was just annoying.

But one day, said dorky guy was microwaving a Hot Pocket while she was eating her Sunchips and he started singing and N*Sync song and she'd clapped her hands in delighted recognition and he'd looked so totally happy that she liked the song, and they'd talked for five minutes about how N*Sync was better than the Backstreet Boys even though both bands were awesome, and about Justin's solo career.

It might be cool to date someone with taste in music if, God forbid, something bad should happen between her and Ryan.

Then he punched a hole in the wall, and... Well. Whatever. He mixed patterns badly, anyway.


	5. Toby

_Pfft... Like there wouldn't be a chapter with Toby in it. Come on, it's _me_. Early season two, then up to "Goodbye Toby."_

* * *

5. Toby

When Kelly was new and so worried about being professional, she'd been quiet and calm at work. Which kind of drove her crazy. Then she got a deskmate and it was so, so nice to finally have someone to talk to between customer service calls.

And it was nice, because Toby was a really good listener. So she talked more and more, like she normally would with her friends, because it was awesome to have someone who listened. Also, he was kind of cute in his sad, quiet way. Like you just wanted to cheer him up.

Even when the wood in his desk started bothering him and he'd moved, he still listened. They would hang out together at work functions. They developed a ball game to pass the time.

There was a period of time when she could have dated him, or asked him or something, even though he had a daughter already and she was so not into being a stepmom. But then there was Ryan and omigod he was gorgeous and nice just didn't feel like enough.

And she talked to Toby less and less and they stopped playing ball because it wasn't a three person game and Ryan wouldn't have wanted to play anyway and the sound of the ball whacking against the wall would have just annoyed him, and after awhile, she just forgot.

And then he was gone, and that sucked because she could really use someone who'd listen sometimes.

* * *

_A/N: Well, that was fun, huh? I give you five chapters, now you give me reveiws, right? Isn't that how it works?_


End file.
